Hide your kids,
Hide your wife,
Hide your husbands,
because they are sucking everybody’s toes up in here!
I would be remiss if I let every media publication in the country, from Gawker to the Daily Show, weigh-in on this whacky story originating from right here in my hometown, Conway, Arkansas. What’s the story you ask? Well, let’s just say we have a 50yr old pot-bellied male that’s reportedly running around town and sucking on women’s toes. Yep, this guy is seriously running around sucking on women’s toes and everyone that I have talked to around town about this has a bad case of the giggles.
Now, before I go any further, I should state for the record that I am opposed to toe sucking, and I do think it’s probably one of the craziest fetishes I have ever heard about, but to each their own. I heard on the news the other night where it’s not even a felony, it’s just a misdemeanor. So I guess if this guy is caught in the act, with a mouthful of big toe, he could just get a ticket and told to go on his merry way. Also, before any of you get upset with me for making light of this heinous crime where there are obvious victims, let me say that I have sympathy for each of the women who were victimized by this guy. Furthermore, I hope the Conway Police Department makes an arrest on the guy if for no other reason than I want to be able to wear open toe shoes again.
The fact that a Google Image Search turned up this photo rather quickly, along with several that shocked even me, tells me that this whole toe sucking thing probably goes on a lot more than we realize...
The whole chain of events started this week when 3 women reported to the Conway Police Department that they had been approached by this man, who is reportedly either Asian or Hispanic (how does a guy suck on your toes and you not figure out his nationality?) who tells them they have pretty feet and then asks if he can suck their toes. In fact, I have heard from a couple of different sources that he convinced the elderly lady to go along w/ his plan and he loved on her piglets for close to half an hour before he stopped and asked her if he could kiss her, in which she then told him no and that he was weird (apparently being kissed is where she drew the line?). Several media outlets from Central Arkansas immediately reported the story, here’s our hometown newspaper’s initial report of the story…
Well, you would think that having his deviant actions exposed to the world and on every evening newscast in the state that it would deter him, or at lease pressure him into slowing down or moving on to another town right? Nope, he went right back to the same shopping center that he visited previously in search of more toes. This time the police have a pretty good description of the guy as well as the make and model of his pickup truck. The shocking thing about this story though is that this isn’t the first time Conway has had a toe sucking problem, here’s a story from the archives where a man from Conway was arrested in Fayetteville, back then they nicknamed him the “Toe Suck Fairy”, everyone in town is wondering if it’s not the exact same guy. I guess time will tell on this. I will try to keep you guys that are out of state updated on this case via my Twitter and Facebook streams, as well as here on my blog.
Random Thought: Can you imagine walking up onto something like that? A wacky dude mugging down on some elderly woman’s hammer toes?
Now, keep in mind that this is not even the craziest story to come out of Central Arkansas this month, not by a longshot. Something a little more tragic happened this month, something I have refrained from blogging about, but it’s also so bizarre that it’s hard to walk away from. In Maumelle recently a dead guy wearing a dog collar was found in the bathtub with a local television weatherman. According to the homeowner, the two had reportedly been doing coke the night before. All I can say is that must have been some pretty crazy cocaine…
If anything else whacky happens this month I will be sure to point them out, but I just can’t imagine anything topping these two tales. I do have a question though, has anyone seen Dwight David Honeycutt lately??
Questions or Comments?