In lieu of our usual long-winded Christmas letter detailing all of the exciting things we did this year, I have decided to share some things that have been on my mind lately. This may come as a surprise, but occasionally I do have my serious moments where I am not blowing things up in the backyard.
The Things We Take for Granted…
A few days ago I was talking with some friends in Texas who informed me of a little girl who had put on her Christmas wish list that all she wanted for Christmas was a bed. Not a Dora the Explorer doll, or a purple 3 Musketeers Barbie Doll (don’t ask me how I know about these) but just a bed to sleep in, something we all take for granted. This has marinated in my head the past 2 days and it has just about driven me crazy. The things we take for granted can sometimes be viewed as luxuries by others. Also, why is it that the only time of year we even go out in search of situations like this is during Christmas? I think that a lot of times it’s our own selfish desire to end the year on a good note by giving to those less fortunate than ourselves than it is anything else. I am not pointing fingers at anyone but myself, and certainly not knocking any of the charities doing great work this time of year for those in need, I applaud what you are doing. The point that I think we should all ponder is this; what if we all were on the lookout for situations like this little girl all year long, and when possible help them out, regardless of the season?
Cherish Every Moment w/ the Ones You Love…
For the past few weeks I have been praying diligently for a friend that has spent every day for as long as I can remember at his wife’s side in a hospital while she battles for her life. Meanwhile, I complain when my wife asks me to hang my clothes up in the closet. What in the world would I do if I was in a situation like my friend is in? I know exactly what I would do, I would hang on to every second we have together and cherish it like it was our last. I love my wife dearly and love the fact that she and I are together just about every hour of the day. Even though I would never admit it to her, I can’t even stand for her to be gone to the grocery store without me, we have that much fun together just hanging out. I once had an anxiety attack in the parking lot of UAMS while she was just having a medical procedure, I can’t imagine what my friend is going through, but I do know that he has tremendous faith and it’s that faith that will see him through.
I have also been praying for 4 friends that lost their jobs this past year and haven’t been able to find jobs. Sometimes I take for granted that I am doing what I love to do for a living, and that I am one of the co-founders of a successful web company that despite a strong economic downturn this past year, we were able to prosper. I also have two of the best business partners a guy could ask for, as well as some of the best clients imaginable. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be unemployed, especially this time of year. I am extremely thankful for all of the blessings God has bestowed upon our business.
This past year our families have been brought even closer together by a series of traumatic events. One of my aunts had a stroke, another one had a terrible fall. This past year we also dealt with the passing of Donna’s grandfather and have watched Alzheimer’s take its toll on her grandmother. While all of these events were each devasting in their own way, we have all become very mindful that things could always be worse, and if it wasn’t for God’s ultimate mercy, they would have certainly been worse.
Looking to God During the Hard Times…
The most traumatic event for my wife and I this year happened back in October. As I am sure a lot of you already know, Donna and I have been trying for 4 years now to have children. We have spent thousands on fertility treatments, inseminations, etc., and finally after some adverse side affects from one of our last fertility treatments I told Donna that I didn’t want to proceed any further down that road because I loved her too much and didn’t want to see her go through the side affects any longer. About a month or two after we stopped the treatments and told God that we knew He wanted us to have children so we were going to leave all doors open for Him to give us our baby, and that included adoption, we started filling out paperwork, requesting information, etc. I bet I hauled in 200lbs of adoption literature from the mailbox that month. Well, wouldn’t you know it, we got pregnant on our own.
We were approximately 5 weeks pregnant and were in Oklahoma City attending church with our Brother and Sister in Law when Donna started having terrible abdominal pains. I immediately rushed her to the hospital and was even considering a med-flight to UAMS when we got the news that we had miscarried. We spent the next 2 weeks clinging to each other trying to make sense of the emotional roller coaster we had just been on. It would have been very easy for us to become discouraged, and I have to admit there were moments I questioned God as to why this happened, but in the end, God showed my wife and I both what we needed to see. It’s not that He was telling us we couldn’t have children, He was just telling us that we didn’t need anything other than Him to get pregnant. No fertility or doctors, just Him. He also showed us that this miscarriage happened for a reason, we don’t know the reason, it could be any number of things, but it did happen for a reason and that we will get pregnant again in His timing. The lesson I learned from all of this was to just turn things over to Him and let Him take care of it, something that I will never forget. Now, I can’t say for sure when my wife and I will be pregnant again, but stay tuned to my Twitter and Facebook and you will be the first to know (well, outside of the immediate family I guess).
I certainly hope that this blog post wasn’t too big of a downer, certainly not the happy Christmas letter that a lot of you have come to expect from us in past years, these were just a few things that we wanted to share…
If we don’t see you over the Holidays,
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!
Cotton & Donna
What a dweeb!
Scrooge!
HUMBUG!
Your new name is Ebeneezer Smart!